Why Did God Make Humans Male & Female?

                     

Hi. I love you. God loves you and thinks highly of you. Please read my prior posts about the tree of life so you know where I am coming from. I want to speak life and hope to you while building you up into the best you that you can be. God made you the way you are for many reasons; only some of which you will find out in this earthly body.

Can we have a conversation about why God made humans male and female?

Before we get going I want to lay down some ground rules. Please read this in a tone of love and respect. I am not angry or judgmental but calm and gentle. I may not know you but God does. He cares deeply for you and thought of you before He made the first stars. [That was a sentence my daughter received from God as a gift about what He thought of her.] He knew you by name then! He wants to have a relationship with you and show you how much He thinks of you and why He designed you the way He did. Your parents participated in your creation through a short, intimate, pleasurable act, but God spent time contemplating you before He created time. And, He knit your cells together in your mother’s womb as He fashioned you into the amazing human you now are. You are that valuable. Now to the subject matter for this blog.

Lisa Bevere, "What is our culture doing right now? They are trying to get the men to be more feminine and the women to be more masculine. They are moving both genders away from their position of strength. But we need men to be men and women to be women because gender captures the image of God." [2016 Prophetic Conference, Bethel Church, March 2016]

Do you remember the days when people of the same sex could be good friends without anybody wondering if they were sexually attracted to or involved with one another? Why is everything so hyper-sexualized in our society that we cannot just have friends of the same or opposite sex without someone wondering something? Why does every TV show have everyone sexually involved with everybody? When did people forget that there was more to life than a fleeting physical encounter with every breathing human? That is part of the problem. We have made sex our god, our idol, our primary pursuit and goal in life. Is there more to life than that?

In 1^st world countries, we have a very confused view of masculine and feminine. Part of this is because we have a lot of time to think about this stuff while we gorge ourselves from our full fridges and stare at our electronic device screens since we are very prosperous compared to 2^nd & 3^rd world nations. But the primary reason for this confusion is because of the choice made in the Garden of Eden to eat from the tree of the “knowledge of good and evil” when that was the only thing that God told Adam NOT to do. If we had received instruction from God about what is good and evil then we would all have the same knowledge from Him about right and wrong. Instead, we all have a very self-centered view of good and evil based on our experiences and perceptions. This sin in the garden led to instant spiritual death and separation from God. He has been pouring His love and redemption out on humanity ever since. He could have always been pouring out justice as the punishment for sin that we deserved, but He most often gave grace and mercy instead. We, however, have still been running away and seeking our own versions of good and evil doing and thinking whatever we have wanted in vain attempts to satisfy our broken souls.

What if we could learn His view about these things and get a new start? What if we could hear from Him about His design for them and how He wants to bless us with His presence so we can become all He intends for us to be? Here is one of the most significant passages from the New Testament about the differences between male and female.

Ephesians 5:15-33

1)       Husband – Love your wife as Christ loved the Church! Jesus died for His bride.

2)       Wife – Submit to and respect your husband as to Christ the head of the Church! [Don’t freak out about the submit word. Keep reading to see why it is a nice word and not an oppressive one. You will also see that the respect word is a good thing too.]

Here is the most clarifying passage for how males and females express the love of God in different ways. This is where the image of God from Genesis 1 & 2 is explained. This is how human marriage is supposed to work. There is equality of person-hood. There are differing roles. Males and females are vastly different. We look, think, converse, play, relate and behave differently. Males and females express love differently. Redeemed people, followers of Jesus, are in the process of becoming more like what Paul describes in this passage. All people reflect some of this. It is in our image of God DNA which is spiritual and not our physical flesh; although, that does tell us which one we are. If your body does not easily clarify if you are male or female, ask God what His original design for you was, then quietly wait and listen for a gentle, kind, loving and affirming voice to answer. Don’t listen to the voice of discouragement, shame and condemnation—that one is not God.

Remember the broken part of women from Genesis 3 where the curse is described? [Stop here and read that chapter if it is not familiar to you.] She will struggle with her role as the perfect companion to the male. She will either be too bossy or too submissive. Her original and easier role in life is to be nurturing and supportive; that is part of the God DNA for the feminine portrayal of love. Females struggle less with this than males. It is natural for most females to be encouraging. Women just love to love in a caring, edifying way. They are good at that.

Cattiness comes from brokenness which is fueled from a jealous mess in a scared soul. The broken part of the feminine is in the areas of submission and respect. The submit thing could take years, perhaps a lifetime to unravel because in her rebellion, the female soul either despises this or craves it too much. The true way of looking at it is to submit to her husband as the leader of the family. This does not mean women submit to all men! This means in the marriage, the leadership and responsibility falls primarily on the male. The female is the helper, supporter, companion, encourager as God was to Israel in the Hebrew Scriptures. Wow! Did He ever put up with a lot of crap! I hope I am better to my wife than Israel was/is to God.

God helps us learn to love. The wife helps the husband in the same way. Sometimes this means getting all up in his business...in private. [That piece of brilliant wisdom will save you thou$ands in counseling.] The unnatural part of this whole thing is thrown in at the end of verse 33, where this submission is explained as respect. This is difficult for women. Nurturing love--that is easy. Treating her husband with respect (value, honor, dignity, deference), that is difficult. Just ask marriage counselors. This can only be done well by the help of The Helper, The Holy Spirit. His role here is similar to that of the wife to the husband. It is not being a doormat. It is a magnificent and holy role that pictures the relationship between Father, Son and Holy Spirit. It portrays God and the way He loves and relates. This submission and respect turns a weak man into a knight in shining armor who will take on the world to bless his female. Respect brings out in a male what only a woman can root out of his wounded soul. It turns a coward into a warrior. It transforms fragility into powerful strength. It makes him into something much greater than he ever dreamed he could become.

An issue I am wrestling with now follows: I have seen numerous females choose a relationship with a bad-boy type believing they can change him. Is that the intent of this passage? Nope. Vast numbers of women have gotten into abusive relationships believing they can help the male become who he is capable of becoming: a hero, an honorable warrior for truth and justice. I am starting to understand why women fall into this cycle based on the above. But should they take on the fixing role with a bad-boy? I certainly do not want anybody in an abusive relationship. Women need boundaries that protect them from abuse. Will they listen to wisdom from others and not get into these toxic relationships? Is there a level of wounded-ness in a male where a woman should be counseled to just walk away? Who will help these women with wise guidance? Who will they listen to? Is that you? Get help from women and counselors who love Jesus and are not judgmental.

Here is another issue I am wrestling with: Why is there so little acceptance of masculinity in the church? Read the lyrics to the worship music of the last 100 years and tell me where it appeals to males. It seems as if it is all targeted at females and their psyche. I don’t get into smooch-woochy, flowery, soft, gentle songs about how God took my fear. I can’t relate. Also, the culture of the USA seems to be at war with the masculine. Boys are medicated at a monstrous rate to calm and pacify them so they will behave like sweet little tame, quiet girls. One article from 2001 stated that North America consumed 95% of the world’s Ritalin. Of course, we do not have a prescription drug problem in this country:

https://www.drugwatch.com/2015/07/29/drug-abuse-in-america/

Why do we need to medicate ourselves out of consciousness? And we know we don’t have an alcohol or illegal drug problem! And now marijuana is available for all because we just do not like to be fully aware and awake. This is not completely a masculine problem but is part of the bigger mess, just hang with me as we travel this windy road of my logic. There is a dislike in the USA for the acceptance of normal, godly, honorable masculinity that is an underlying cause for many of these problems. More men would be part of churches if they were allowed to actually be men! I am so tired of being sissified in order to fit into the USA and church cultures. What if men could be men? Wouldn’t that be cool?! There sure would be a lot more of them in churches then.

I went to the Azusa Now revival prayer meeting in the Los Angeles Coliseum on April 9, 2016 [five days ago]. Some friends I was with connected with two men from New Zealand. I had a conversation with one of them, Mike, about this subject after he stated that he could see that I had a warrior spirit and presence. I heartily agreed. He said he did too and it was part of his [Maori] tribal culture. He told stories about why the British lost so many battles to the outnumbered and under weaponized tribes in New Zealand. He described the sounds of the warrior music that was missing in the church. He then told me about the ‘haka’ warrior dances. Later I saw him greet another New Zealander by doing a ‘hongi.’ Mike took off his hat and sun glasses, leaned in and they touched their foreheads and noses with their eyes closed and breathed in deeply through their noses. It was powerful and deep and I had no idea what it was. Mike told me that it was a greeting for those who honor one another and the breathing in was taking in the essence of the brother which pointed back to God creating Adam and breathing life into his lungs. It was stunning and masculine and powerful. It struck a chord in my masculine chest. Man! I wish we could be men!

   

Now back to the Ephesians text:

The larger and seemingly more difficult demands of this passage are for the man to love his wife like Jesus loved the church, built her up, nurtured her and died for her. It is easy for men to pour out respect. This is why they usually focus well on work, tasks [fixing stuff/problems] and sports. Males have to learn nurturing love. This love purifies her soul. It blossoms her into the lovely flower she can become only by receiving this love from a male. The princess needs a prince to unwrap the beauty in her soul. My wife tells me she wants honesty, integrity, love, provision, protection, a man seeking Jesus all the time and to feel enveloped. Picture an eagle standing near his mate with his wings spread around her in protection and glaring at the enemies desiring to harm her screaming like Gandalf in the 1^st Lord of the Rings movie, "You shall NOT pass!" [Yes, I know the irony of this actor’s homosexual life choices in this paragraph but I am meaning the character in the movie, not the actor.] The proper and whole male does not use his physical strength to cause submission. He does not use his strength against her to gain respect and he cannot get respect by demanding it. [That is a note to thugs too. Holla!] He pours out gentleness and nurtures her with a tenderness since he is like a bull and she is like a china shop [priceless, delicate and extremely valuable; not fragile]. He draws out the inner beauty. He is first drawn toward her external beauty and curves and then moves into her soul because she has captivated his. His love removes blemishes from her soul, it looks past her wrinkles and stretch-marks. When the male loves the female he learns to love himself and stop condemning himself for all his flaws and frailty. And, here in verse 31 the male is told to leave his parents and hold fast to his wife, his woman, and become one body, mind and soul. He cannot become the best husband possible while remaining a mamma’s boy/brat/baby.

Then Paul throws an unexpected curve ball. It's all about Jesus. This marriage talk is really about how Jesus relates to the church, His bride. The church is supposed to love, respect, obey and submit to Jesus because He poured out His human life to redeem her and make her become who she could only become through His love and sacrifice.

God made male and female so we could have an earthly metaphor for how to relate to Him. God Himself is a community, a family. When we go a different way than the above, we choose our emotions or urges above how God has revealed Himself to us in the Bible. His truth is one of love, not punishment. God is not punishing us by designing family to be a heterosexual unit. Nowhere in the Bible is there ever condoning of any other marital unit. Polygamy is seen regularly in the Hebrew Bible [Old Testament] because the wealthy and many kings had the power to choose that against God’s directives and society’s norms. None of those stories ended well. Most of the stories in the Hebrew Bible are there to show the warts and failures of humans while God is still revealing Himself as faithful and loving.

Our modern arguments for same-sex relationships are not bringing about healthy and whole humans and families. If we were objective we would see the truth that they are not. I have observed this in several relationships close to me. The sad statistics of abuse, diseases, depression and addiction are all over the web, but mostly ignored because it does not fit with current politics and Hollywood’s great values system. Shouldn’t we wonder about any type of morality pushed by Hollywood which then influences Washington D.C.? Nations that have had legal same-sex marriage for over a decade prove this too. But our urges and emotions scream louder for our rights than our desire to seek a better and wiser way. Too often we are controlled by our feelings; which is one of our other gods. If this paragraph has set you on emotional fire, that is not my intent. Would you still be open to friendship with me? I am for you. Unless we go to the tree of life together, we will disagree over this. That, however, does not mean that I have ill feelings toward or am afraid of you. I love you enough to desire to walk toward Jesus with you whether you ever agree with me or not.

We all have areas where we need work. We all need blind spots lovingly exposed by those who care for us. I care for you. I am sure you can help me in many ways too. Let’s do this life together. Let’s seek the best way together and see why God made us the way He did. He fashioned us to receive and give His love and grace. We are each unique and wonderful. Can we change the way things are discussed in the USA? Can we be kind, gentle and loving? My heart is tender toward those who disagree with me. I do not pity them. I am not afraid of them. I do not condemn them. I do not call them names or vilify them. Whoever you are, I love, honor and respect you. You are worth more than you know. You are an amazing, powerful, wonderful, precious treasure. Jesus went to the cross scorning its shame because of the joy set before Him: a reconciled relationship with us. Seek Him and pursue Him with all your strength and energy.

Let’s become everything we are supposed to be as our artistic Creator captivates our souls with His healing love and kindness. God made males and females to reflect differing aspects of His awesome-ness. Let’s be the awesome He designed.